Training --- Aunt Louise : 100 Ways to Attack the Groin

This is hilarious.

And the outtakes:

The Sayings of Derek

Here are just a few of the funny, unique, sometimes maddening, but always motivational sayings of Derek, the trainer who has helped me for more than a year now, from his early-morning spin class, boot camp class, and small group training:

---Your feelings do not matter. Your feelings do not produce success. So focus on what does produce success. Suck it up and drive on. Hammer it out.

---This is nothing but a challenge. This is a test, and I don't think you can do it. But prove me wrong.

---Now we're starting a 19-minute hill. Is that extreme? Yes, it is. Because I'm an extreme person. My philosophy is that if something is only worth doing in moderation, it's not worth doing at all.

---See if you can keep up with me. Trust me. I will smoke you.

---Come on! Come on! Don't waste your time!

---Tempo! Tempo! Tempo!

---There are two groups of people in this class: those who are not trying for a specific fitness goal, and that's fine---and those who have a goal, and they THINK they're working hard for it, but they're not.

---I'm trying to motivate people, and tell them how they can do better, but sometimes I wonder, why don't they get it --- when I'm looking right at them?

---You got up and came here at 5:30 in the morning, and you're not trying your hardest? Then what are you doing here? You're wasting your time.

---Quit your crying and start trying.

---You didn't get less than three hours of sleep because your newborn baby was crying. Nah, that's not your excuse. That's my excuse. You don't have an excuse.

---I'm not telling you to grab a drink. You're adults. You know when you're thirsty, and I shouldn't have to tell you to get a drink.

---I'm working harder than you, and this isn't even my workout.

---Don’t let me be more committed to your fitness goals than you are. That’s pathetic. But here’s a hint: Try to keep up with me. If you’re not sure what to do, watch me. Follow me.

---You need to get rid of that wishbone and replace it with some backbone.

---This is all performance based.

---This is all about effort. You get out what you put in.

---What? Your legs hurt? My legs hurt, and my lower back hurts. The only difference between you and me is I don’t care. I push past the pain.

---You may be saying, Oh, I’m not in shape. But it’s not physical, it’s mental. It’s all mental. Yeah, I’m in your head now.

---Why are you going so slow? This ain’t a walk in the park.

---Trust me. I’m gonna work you hard. I’m just here to help you.

---The only difference between you and me is time and effort.

---You can’t achieve victory without a struggle. You have to really own it. What price are you willing to pay, what pain are you willing to accept, to achieve victory?

---Keep the hammer on. Press it down.

Training --- Aunt Louise

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

100 Ways to Attack the Groin

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